The Knight's Tinder Profile — 'Seeking Fair Maiden'

A 10-second dating-show parody, 9:16 vertical: squire Pip manages Sir Tristan's dating profile — translating chivalry into modern dating-app language. The hook: "MILADY, I WOULD CROSS A MOAT FOR THEE" becomes "hey."
0-3s: A tavern-style apartment, evening lamp light. Squire Pip, 19, hunches over a phone managing Sir Tristan's dating profile. The profile photo: Tristan in full armor holding a dragon skull. The bio reads: "Seeking fair maiden. Must love long quests." Pip winces.
3-6s: The montage of swipes: left, left, left — a match! Tristan dictates a message with full courtly gravity: "MILADY, I WOULD CROSS A MOAT FOR THEE." Pip translates it to: "hey." Sent. Tristan looks betrayed. The phone-screen UI glows between them — two eras negotiating.
6-10s: The date: a mini-golf course at golden hour. Tristan treats it as a tournament — jousting the windmill with a pool noodle, saluting the crowd of none, bowing to his date after every hole — and somehow, impossibly, gets a second date. Pip watches from the fence, shaking his head, smiling despite himself. Sweet anachronism. End.
Craft: Pip (19, phone-fluent, long-suffering) and Sir Tristan (armor-adjacent, courtly, earnest) as the duo; the phone's dating UI as the translator; the mini-golf course as the tournament ground. Camera: phone-screen UI close-ups, tavern warm light, mini-golf golden hour. Lighting: evening lamp warmth to golden-hour glow. Atmosphere: sweet anachronism — chivalry, swiped right. Style: dating-show parody, 24fps, 10 seconds, 9:16 vertical.